Ragnar or Perfectly Not Alright

Excerpt from Addleberg Lang:

This is another of my character poems. The character it features is Ragnar Lupeson, one of the more main side characters in the series Magic Stones. I don’t want to give too much away about him or the role he plays in the series, but I’ll give you this: Ragnar was severely abused as a child and, despite almost a decade of therapy, still struggles with PTSD and other issues but refuses to talk about them. He defaults to locking all his emotions away until they boil over and he has a mental breakdown. Quite unhealthy, I know. But you’re supposed to have characters that make you collapse in tears every time you think about everything they struggle with, right? Also he’s my favorite character; maybe that’s why I treat him so badly. (That’s way messed up, isn’t it?)

“I’m alright, I’m alright, I’m alright.”

That’s what you keep saying

Over and over, throughout your whole life

You’ve been alright that whole time

“I’m alright, I’m alright, I’m alright,”

You chant as the pain comes again

Blood drips down your face, they’re still kicking you

But you’re refusing to cry

“I’m alright, I’m alright, I’m alright,”

You say as you try and stitch yourself up

But your eyes are swollen shut and your hands are shaking

And no one’s offered to help

“I’m alright, I’m alright, I’m alright,”

You whisper, curled up in a ball

The memories are choking you and you can’t escape

But no one can know about any of it

“I’m alright, I’m alright, I’m alright,”

You think, knowing you’re too drunk

And won’t be able to stand and fight 

If someone decides to attack you

“Let me die, let me die, let me die,”

You scream as the nightmares play again

And now everyone knows but you can’t form words to defend yourself

Because you can’t manage to wake up 

“You’re alright, you’re alright, you’re alright,”

They say as the make sure you’re okay

And you still can’t say anything but you start to think you might

Actually, eventually, be alright